Sock Monsters and Other Cryptoids – TWB1

The dingoes didn’t eat your socks but we do know what did… sock monsters. They’re in every household orphaning our foot protectors and torturing anyone in a rush to get to work or school. With all these socks and no pairs you’re stuck with three options: throw the socks away, use them as cleaning towels (they make good dusters) or keep them in a [sock] basket and wait until the monster grants you leniency and awards you for being so optimistic.

Truth is you will never find that sock. They become as elusive as let’s say the Bigfoot, Loch Ness, or the cupacabra. Maybe you saw it once underneath the couch, a true sighting of which you have proof: a picture.It’s graining but dammit there it is your precious cotton blend. You return to the location of the sighting hoping to reunite it with it’s mate; however, it’s not there. Three months later, you see it again but what the hell are you going to do with just one sock?

Over time human-kind has been given many hints as to what “things” may inhabit this earth hidden in plain sight. To see is to believe and henceforth we become skeptics. Grainy pictures are fun and all but where’s the real proof? Where’s the Harry to my Hendersons!

Cryptoids

The Sock Monster

Maybe the monster comes in the form of heat and goes unseen to the human eye; a thermal entity which feeds on socks by disintegration.

Aren’t all socks compression socks.

Adam dresses as a douche bag for the Spartan race which ultimately lead to him fracturing his foot and losing his glasses.

Jerry freaks out on his family when he finds a mysterious pair of underwear in the laundry.

Chris and his Buds form a Sock Monster Task Force to locate lost socks and hunt down the elusive tormentors of funk within laundry rooms throughout Chicago.

Nessie as a Dinosaur
Is she just a giant log wearing a Halloween mask?

A hoard of female lizards in Mexico reproduce a-sexual and so it’s possible the Loch Ness clones itself every 50 years or so.

There can be only one.

Giant sturgeon?

Ol’ Nessie!

Bigfoot

The mystery lives on as an enigma even after television’s  Finding Bigfoot and 10 Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty failed spark the interest and ratings and an actual bigfoot sighting.

This Virginian man, however, captured video of the hairy “non blurry” cryptid.

… This cat Rick Dryer continues to torment the media. Back in January 2014 he claimed to have killed Bigfoot and the news outlets clamored to his mountain home with hopes of procuring once and for all actual proof of it’s existence (this after just a year ago he presented a similar claim and duped the media with a Bigfoot rubber-made suit).

Other Crytoids

Vampires. Jerry loves them and somewhere buried in his shed is the first few chapters of a novel feature a vampire who may or may not be Lestat from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. Maybe if he just adds some raunch he can create something as fanatical as 50 Shades of Grey.

The chupacabra from our necks of the woods–the southwest– loves goats and harassing cattle. Hmmm, cow tipping, what if it’s the chupacabra, a jokester with huge fangs and a thirst for blood?

Fun fact: Jerry has a problem pronouncing the word chupacabra.

Elizabeth of Bathory is actually Elizabeth Bathory.

Vlad the Impaler loses street-cred with that movie Dracula Untold but a sequel in is the works and Jerry can wait. Take your time New Line. He’ll be here when you’re ready.

Check out the Mystics in Bali, a Rupel Recommendation.

The Alabama Leprechaun

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

The Yeti…just a vanilla Bigfoot.

The Fold

Without definitive proof, we cannot confirm the existence of the many cryptic legends. The fun in is the belief. That’s why we as common sense human beings get so excited when there is a “sighting” or an encounter. It’s fun to believe; belief fuels our imagination of what could be out there. Maybe Bigfoot does exist and maybe aliens are real. Who knows and who cares? Only keep the fanaticism reasonable. Don’t consume all of your time with the tracking of said creatures unless you have a vendetta. A vendetta against the one thing who took away someone or something dear to you and you will not, no, cannot stop, until you obtain the satisfaction of vindication.